Solo Motherhood - Month One

He’s here! It’s hard to believe my perfect little miracle baby has officially been here a month already. The past month has felt like a blur of bliss. From the moment I met him, all of my anxieties about this path to motherhood seemingly vanished. The things I stayed up at night worrying about no longer mattered. (Isn’t it funny how anxiety works like that - you stress yourself out over things that won’t even happen.)

I remember the first few days holding him, listening to a playlist of songs I had made about him bursting into tear, completely overwhelmed with the love I felt for this little boy. (And sometimes I still do). The time is already whizzing by so quickly, I am trying to cherish every precious moment of this stage where it’s just him and I home, worrying about nothing else in the world. 

Baby Logan has changed my life in a beautiful way. Each day I wake up and look at him, I can’t believe all of the emotions and pain I went through has led him to me. I can now confidently say, choosing solo motherhood at this point in my life was the right choice for me. 

And I wish I had done it sooner. 

I don’t want to paint the picture that it’s easy by any means. My life is totally consumed by his needs right now. Our days are a constant loop of eat, play, sleep, repeat. And I’ve been very lucky to have help almost his whole first month from my mom since she’s retired. Having someone else around to help organize the chaos of a newborn house and let me take a nap during the day, let’s me focus on being the best version of a mom for Logan I can be. In fact, she’s probably been more helpful than some partners would have been. Everyday has its share of challenges, but the reward of motherhood far outweighs any of them. 

Now in month two it’s going to be about me getting my rhythm solo and Logan’s first road trip to New York…stay tuned!