I'm Pregnant!

I'm officially 5 weeks pregnant today!  My very first frozen embryo transfer worked. I got the call from my clinic last week after my blood work that my HCG level was 450, which was a good strong number. (They like to see anything over 50!) I have another blood test tomorrow to check that my levels are continuing to increase. It's all so amazing and weird at the same time...

Because I still don't believe that I am pregnant. It's like I have been going through all of the motions to get me to the this point for the past 8 months, and now I am here, single at 38 and pregnant. I shared the news that my transfer worked with my family this weekend and also revealed the gender. I thought that would make it feel more real, but it didn't. It's hard to explain, but it almost felt like an out of body experience saying the words "I'm pregnant." 

I've been reading up on pregnancy and what to expect, looking at baby names, and even started shopping and working on my baby registry. All of which is so fun, but hasn't helped make it feel like a life is actually forming inside of me. My sister said it won't feel real until I hear the heartbeat at my first ultrasound, and then again when I start feeling the baby kick. 

I'm also starting to feel anxious about telling friends. I don't know that anyone will truly understand my decision to become a solo mom. All of my friends have started families in a very traditional manner. I know they will support me and be excited, but deep down I am still worried about them feeling pity for me. Or wondering why I didn't just try to wait a little longer. I've been working hard to try and let go of what people think, but those little inklings still exist. 

I've been feeling pretty good so far. I'm tired but it's hard for me to tell what level of that tiredness is pregnancy related. My boobs are starting to feel a little sore, but not bothersome at all. And I have mild cramps on and off. But by far the worst thing I am dealing with is the progesterone in oil shots. At first, they felt just like every other IVF shot I've become so used to administering - once I got over the huge needle that is. But now, the pain level at my injection sites is almost unbearable. Every time I roll over in bed, I let out a yelp. Thank god I can sleep on my stomach still in my first trimester, because I don't know how much sleep I'd be getting otherwise!